well, i finally got on the bike today for the first time since the wreck. i mean, it's been almost 5 weeks now, and my desire to get back to riding and training has ebbed and flowed and i've asked myself if i even wanted to ride anymore at all. just last week i was at work, and starting to feel like a real 'working' person and all and i just didn't know if it was worth the hassle of training training training anymore. why bother? too hard a life. do i even have that kind of talent anyway? there's so many people that are so much faster and they're so much younger. yeah, fairly negative thoughts, but just trying to take a step back and re-evaluate all of it. i didn't want for the injury to "beat" me, but if my time for cycling was through, then it was through. there are a lot more things i'd like to do in life, for goodness sake.

anyway, i hooked the bike up to the trainer and just rode for half an hour. things started a little slow, but then the legs started turning over and i realized that i just needed to keep on keepin on. it's not over yet. got to keep the big picture in mind, and in the big picture i've been progressing nicely year by year. sure, there've been bumps along the path, but could i have it any other way? simply, no. we all have our own paths and that's what makes us who we are. some are rougher than others, but that's just how it is. i'm no fan of crashing, much less breaking bones, but if that leads to even just the possibility of experiencing the opposite side of the pendulum - winning championships and such - then i'm willing to take the journey. that's my lot.